Ladies and gentleman, I don’t think it’s a secret that I am a Catholic. But here’s the thing, I don’t get to church as often as I’d like bc they don’t offer free refills. The thing I miss most about going to church is confession.
You won’t tell anybody… RIGHT??
Great, this is Hails’ Midnight Confessions.
(CAN YOU TELL THAT I’M A COLBERT GROUPIE??!)
AHHHHHEM. *cue the Stephen Colbert voice*
Standard disclaimer: IDK if these are technically sins, BUT I do feel bad about them.
Forgive me readers –
When I went to the gym the other day, I didn’t sanitize the stair master after I sweated all over it; the gym employee wasn’t looking.
Last Saturday, I ate dinner in Little Italy. I didn’t tip 20% bc the waiter didn’t give our table extra bread.
When I go to Starbucks, I steal a few handfuls of Stevia packets from their sugar selection bc I’m too lazy to go to the grocery store.
Sometimes I tell the bartender that I am a diabetic, just so he doesn’t put any syrup in my vodka soda with 10,000 lime slices.
The other day I forgot to bring my heels to work, so I bought a pair for the day. The same lady was at the register, so I told her that the shoes were too big.
When I was preparing a salad at the Whole Foods salad bar, I added slices of roasted sweet potato so I could snack on them while grocery shopping.
When I was at the grocery store, I grabbed two extra samples of chips and salsa “for my mom and dad”. My parents live 800 miles away.
The other day, I was walking home from a bar and a guy stopped to ask me if I wanted to grab a drink. I told him that I had a date. I literally went home and ate five dates smothered in almond butter.
My friend asked me for a three week meal plan with different meals every day and for each day to be under 1700 calories. I responded with…
Every time I go to the gym, I stain the gym towels with my makeup and fake tan.
& worst of all, I cheated on Bucky. AND I liked it.
(I made Buckeyes.)
IDK if it’s bc I’ve been out of Madison for a month and a half, but I DEVOURED the Buckeyes and I don’t regret it.
This DOESN’T make me an Ohio Buckeye fan. I just can’t resist the sweet taste of the Buckeyes.
Cheese is still #1 in my heart, but these Buckeyes are IR👏🏼RE👏🏼SIST👏🏼I👏🏼BLE.
My dad can attest to this too. Here is a quote from the man, the myth himself :
“Those are a lot better than the real ones – the real ones are too sweet and in these you can actually taste the peanut butter.” – Bob
These balls have a powdery texture held together with a chocolate crunch. If you don’t eat a GAZILLION of these balls in one sitting, I’d consider getting tested for a peanut allergy…
1 cup drippy PB (you can find the kind I use HERE)
¾ cup almond flour
1 tsp vanilla extract
¼ cup coconut sugar
¾ cut oat flour
>70% cacao dark choco
Melt peanut butter in the microwave. Mix in almond flour, vanilla extract, coconut sugar, and oat flour. Roll into balls and freeze for ~1 hour. Melt dark choco and dip the frozen peanut butter balls in the choco and place on wax paper. Freeze again.
MAKE SURE to use the drippy PB! ALSO – bc you use the drippy kind, you must keep them in the freezer bc they have a lower melting point than the crappy, artificial pb. Even though they will be stored in the freezer, they DON’T get frozen hard.
I would recommend setting them out for 5-10 minutes before serving if you freeze them overnight.
These are SINFULLY delicious. I also like them more than the actual buckeye dessert at Ohio State bc the peanut butter has more of an apparent taste and the texture is so much more fleeky.