How To Make DANK Easter Monster Cookie Dough Dip

oo. my. YUM.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA          Processed with VSCO with c1 preset

Okay. Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself again – per usual.

* rewind *

My family and I flew into Penn State from far and wide – well, Madison WI, Chicago, and NYC – for my brother’s last parents weekend. BUT, my brother didn’t know that I was coming up… I surprised him, the only way and the Gorski way – with a Smirnoff ice.


I was terrified that Find Friends would ruin the surprise, but I hacked the system – it turns out that if you put your phone on airplane mode and turn it off in mid flight, the FF satellite can’t track you, even after landing.

~ hacks w/ hailey ~

Screen Shot 2018-03-26 at 8.43.04 PM

Will State College ever be the same after the Gorski’s trip??

Screen Shot 2018-03-26 at 8.43.18 PM


After a long, crazy weekend of shenanigans, my ‘rents and I headed back to the ‘burbs of Chicago to get back into the swing of things and relax.

I had an exam prior to the trip, so I haven’t had much down time. And if you know me, you know that I like to bake, cook, & meal prep when I’m winding down.

I literally come home from night exams and meal prep to chill.

There’s no better way to recover from a biochem exam than baking chicken and roasting broccoli – RIGHT?!

Some how, some way, my roommates have gotten use to my weird ways of coping with stress. There could be worse ways??!

Luckily my parents are also use to this coping mechanism; they weren’t surprised when I took over the kitchen to make EASTER. MONSTER. COOKIE DOUGH.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA          Processed with VSCO with c1 preset

Yes – you read that right. And yes – it IS as delish as it sounds. It is also SO MUCH CLEANER than the original recipe and it is freakishly filling.

TBH, I had to eat some GG Crackers with cream cheese, smoked salmon, capers, & lemon to curb my cravings and NOT be tempted to eat the whole bowl of cookie dough. It worked pretty well.

For this recipe, I used TJ’s Cashew Butter. I would recommend blending your own cashew butter if you would want to save some $. I also find the homemade kind to taste better and fresher.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA          Processed with VSCO with c1 preset

Now I have to say, if you have a Ninja blender, you’re doing it right. My roommate has one and it can make nut butter like no other blender. My blender at home isn’t the best, but it does get the job done.

Alright, I think it’s time for me to close my loud mouth and let you FEAST on this Easter deliciousness…!!



8 ounce cream cheese low fat (soften)

1.5 cups cashew butter

1 cup coconut sugar

2 cups old fashion oats

¼ cup almond flour

2 T flax meal ( optional )

2 tsp vanilla extract

couple dashes of cinnamon

Pinch of salt

1 cup dark choco chips

sprinkles & easter M&M’s for topping


Allow cream cheese to soften. In a food processor ( a blender works too ), add cream cheese, coconut sugar, oats, almond flour, flax meal, vanilla extract, cinnamon, and salt. Blend until the texture is consistent. Remove from blender and place the mixture into a bowl. If mixture is warm, place the bowl in the fridge for 10-15 minutes. Remove from refrigerator, mix in dark choco chips and top with sprinkles and M&Ms. Serve immediately with pretzels, whole wheat graham crackers, OR eat it by the spoonful. Extra credit if your spoon has the word “kale” engraved on it. 😉

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA          Processed with VSCO with c1 preset

Wish me luck on Easter not eating a whole bowl of this…


LMK what you think of this recipe on my latest Instagram post ( @allhailsthekale ) !

xx hails

One thought on “How To Make DANK Easter Monster Cookie Dough Dip

Leave a Reply